Thursday, November 29, 2007

Some stuff I've been thinking about lately.

I posted a blog similar to this a couple of weeks ago but, I ended up deleting it because I always second guess myself, especially when I'm sharing things from my heart but, I decided to just go ahead and do it and this time I won't delete it. I promise. :)
Barring biblical standards, what really makes a good mom or a bad mom? It seems in our culture we place alot of emphasis on being "good" at everything. A common stereotype would be a good mom cooks everything from scratch, her house is spotless, her kids are well-behaved, volunteers, looks well-put together, perfect marriage, calm, cool, collected, need I go on? You know what's funny? We look at this stereotype and try to be it. I've tried to be it. I've wanted others to think that is me. Why? This woman doesn't really exist. Why do we feel we need to live up to some supermom standard? I've found myself comparing my mothering skills to other moms only to find myself condemned. The fact is...God did not create us to be "cookie cutters" as I like to say. About a year ago, I feel like a had a radical heart change. I was constantly down on myself feeling like I was a bad mom and all the other mothers seemed to have it "going on". I looked at myself and realized I was trying to appear as though I had it all together but, I really didn't. If we were to be really honest many of us could probably admit to that. Now, I can say I'm not perfect- not even close and I'm OK with that. I shouldn't let what others do or say dictate what I do or say. What's best for one may not be best for another. I need to do what is best and right for my family. God showed me that without Him...I would be a bad mom. Does that make sense? We spend so much time trying to do things in our own strength, wanting others to look at us and think we've got it together when, in fact I think it would be more helpful and freeing if we were more willing to share our downfalls with one another and really let people know "I really need Jesus." I'm willing to admit, I need Jesus every single day. Right now. The moment I abandon the grace He gives me access to is the moment I fall flat on my face. Can anyone relate to what I'm saying? The thing is we can't earn his affections by what we do, we already have them. He won't love us any less if we decide to order a pizza one night because we don't feel like cooking. And guess what, your family won't either. We didn't or can't do anything to make Him love us any more than he already does. He just does. Oh, and He definitely doesn't love the mom who cleans everyday more than the one who doesn't. (no offense mom who cleans everyday). I think as moms we should be women who can stand with one another through the tough times and be a shoulder to lean on and at times remember when we first started out and lend a helping hand to a new mom. A few weeks ago I read a blog by a fellow mom who was feeling bad because she didn't clean all of the time. I was honestly saddened by that. Who or what says we need to clean every day? Heck, I don't clean every day. The point is....we are all in this together. I believe if we are following how the Bible instructs us to raise our families, all else is according to what works best for you and your house. Whether we clean everyday or make boxed mac and cheese for dinner. It doesn't matter. Be who God created you to be not who he created someone else to be. I'm not trying to be "preachy" by any means but, if you are a mom who struggles with "super mom" syndrome I hope this has helped you to realize that without Christ in us...we're really not "super" anything. At the risk of "beating a dead horse" here, I'll close.
Access His grace today to be the best mom He created you to be. I hope this made sense to you and maybe encouraged you a little bit.


Ginger@From The Cocoon said...

G-I totally get understand what you're saying. I've struggled in the past and still do some days because I work outside the home. I've had to come to terms that a "perfect mom" is being the mom that God created ME to be for MY children...not what someone else thinks I should be. You definitely hit the nail on the head. Me? I just try to do the best I can and pray that I'm following God as closely as I can.

Sarah said...
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Sarah said...

THanks G, for your honesty. Definitely with you! Isn't it funny how we can go through stages where we think we can even pretend to be perfect? As if it isn't see-through - especially to the people who count (God & our families) There is something so freeing in getting a realization of what a bad mom/wife I really am without grace. It lets me relax a little. The hard thing about this kind of blogging-world is that we can tend to show only an airbrushed picture of ourselves. Thanks for being real!

bethany said...

Thanks for posting this. :) I think you're definitely right on...and we should be boasting in our weaknesses, because in them, God is strong. Superman doesn't really exist, and neither does Supermom.

This week, while J has been sick, I started off being really frustrated...and then just started praising Jesus because He can use this to help me become more patient. And amazingly enough, I think I am learning! :)

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

I had to take a couple of days to think about this - it was so good to read this. I've come (or am coming) to that place where I am letting my imperfections show instead of trying to cover them up. I can't be perfect, nor do I want to be. Seriously, who wants to be friends with "perfect"!
I was really encouraged to read this, and to know that there are other woman - normal women- who I can be friends with and will accept Andrea - the non-superwoman. And that God loves me no matter what.


Courtney said...

I'm glad you decided to re-post. It was just as god the second time :)

Courtney said...

oops, typs! it was just as good the 2nd time... although I'm pretty sure God had something to do with it both times

Circular Logic said...

Hooray for "speaking your heart." I'm not a mom, but I may be someday. My fear is that when I do become a mom, that I won't want to go back to work, and we'll one extra person to feed with one less income. Or if I do go back to work, will I feel guilty that someone else is raising my child? (I can pretty much guarantee that the answer to that would be yes.) I think this blog was good for non-moms to read, too.

PS-I haven't read your blog in a while, so I'm trying to catch up.